Milanda hadn’t planned on hosting a dinner party. It sort of… happened. One minute she was texting the group chat about how chaotic the week had been (two dentist appointments, a science fair, and the black lab ate a sock), and then next, everyone was replying:
“See you Saturday!”
“I’ll bring wine.”
“Make that bean thing you made once.”
Milanda squinted at her phone. What bean thing?
She scrolled back through her own photos—baked beans? No, too sweet. That garbanzo thing? Nope, that gave Jodie heartburn. Then she found it. A hazy, slightly overexposed picture of a steaming pot—rich red, flecked with green, hearty enough to feed a hockey team.
The vegetarian chili.
Made on a whim last fall when the fridge was empty except for three zucchinis and half a pepper. The kids had all grumbled when they saw no meat, but by the end, even her extremely buff husband had gone back for thirds. He said something wild like: “This slaps.”
So she made it again.
Saturday arrived. The dogs were banished to the yard (for now), the kids were temporarily hypnotized by a holiday movie, and Milanda stood in her kitchen with a wooden spoon and a mission.
Into the pot went:
- Chopped onion and garlic, sizzling in olive oil
- Bell peppers, zucchini, corn, and black beans
- Crushed tomatoes and a secret spoonful of maple syrup
- A spice blend so bold it made her sneeze (twice)
She let it simmer while she cleaned under the couch (why was there a sock in the toaster?) and laid out mismatched bowls because, you know, charm.
By 6:00 p.m., the house smelled like smoky paprika and promise.
Guests trickled in, wine bottles clinking. Someone brought a salad no one would eat. Her neighbor muttered something about “missing the meat,” but then had two bowls. Her friend Daney, a “chili purist,” paused mid-bite and said:
“Wait. This is… actually very good.”
Milanda beamed.
Actually. Very. Good.
The kind of compliment that sounded like surprise, but tasted like victory.
Even the kids, bribed with cornbread and sparkling apple juice, gave her grudging thumbs-up.
By the end of the night, the pot was empty, her heart was full, and someone had written “Chili Queen” on a napkin and taped it to her fridge.
Moral of the story?
Don’t underestimate beans.
Don’t underestimate Milanda.
And never host a dinner party without making extras—someone will ask for a Tupperware to-go.
🫘 Milanda’s “Actually Very Good” Vegetarian Chili
Prep Time: 15 minutes
Cook Time: 40 minutes
Serves: 6–8 (or 4 with seconds and a lunchbox leftover)
Ingredients:
Base Veggies:
- 2 tbsp olive oil
- 1 large yellow onion, diced
- 4 cloves garlic, minced
- 1 red bell pepper, chopped
- 1 zucchini, chopped
- 1 cup corn (frozen or fresh)
Beans & Tomatoes:
- 1 (15 oz) can black beans, drained and rinsed
- 1 (15 oz) can kidney beans, drained and rinsed
- 1 (28 oz) can crushed tomatoes
- 2 tbsp tomato paste
Seasonings:
- 1 tbsp chili powder
- 1 tsp ground cumin
- 1 tsp smoked paprika
- ½ tsp dried oregano
- ¼ tsp cinnamon (trust her)
- Salt & pepper to taste
- 1 tsp maple syrup (Milanda’s secret weapon)
Optional Add-ins:
- 1 chipotle pepper in adobo (for smokiness)
- ½ cup vegetable broth (if you like it a bit soupier)
- 1 cup chopped spinach or kale (sneaky greens!)
Instructions:
- Sauté the Base:
Heat olive oil in a large pot over medium heat. Add onion and cook until translucent (about 5 minutes). Stir in garlic, bell pepper, and zucchini. Cook another 5 minutes, until veggies start to soften. - Add Spices:
Stir in chili powder, cumin, paprika, oregano, cinnamon, and tomato paste. Cook for 1 minute to let the flavors bloom. - Add Beans & Tomatoes:
Pour in crushed tomatoes, beans, corn, and maple syrup. Add broth or water if you want a thinner chili. Stir everything together. - Simmer:
Bring to a gentle boil, then reduce heat and simmer uncovered for 25–30 minutes, stirring occasionally. Taste and adjust seasoning. More salt? More maple syrup? More chili powder? You’re the boss. - Serve:
Ladle into bowls and serve with:- Cornbread or crusty bread
- Sour cream or plant-based yogurt
- Avocado slices
- Shredded cheddar or vegan cheese
- Lime wedges, if you’re feeling fancy
💡 Milanda’s Tips:
- Make ahead: Even better the next day.
- Want it meaty? Add crumbled tempeh or lentils.
- Hosting hack: Serve it from the pot, pretend you’re too humble to accept compliments.